


Oikiwi: Teen romance story

by oikawamemesquad



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, kiwi furry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:51:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3456341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawamemesquad/pseuds/oikawamemesquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>oikawa was jst a boy,,,,, a b0y withe a crush but nt a normel crush, his crsh wuz a kiwi. the kiw i was vry delicuos, so tender, so sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oikiwi: Teen romance story

**Author's Note:**

> regret  
> rɪˈɡrɛt/  
> verb  
> 1.  
> feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do).

oikawa was jst a boy,,,,, a b0y withe a crush but nt a normel crush, his crsh wuz a kiwi. the kiw i was vry delicuos, so tender, so sweet.  
he (k)needed dat kiwi, he craved dat kiwi  
“why would the kiwi ever notixe jst a normal boy like me,,,,” oikw sobbe into his pillow one night lik ehe did every night.  
iwa-chan looked at oikwa (dont ask me why he ws ther he just WAS) and smacd him with th pillow.  
“You may be jst a boy but you are VLLEYBALL boy. KIwis love volleyball. JUst volley his balls, Oik,aw.”  
“but wut if kiwi dont lyke ball”  
“im sur kiwi-san lovs ur balls” said beewa reassurinng him(wut a gr9 frend, best bros 4 lyfe)

The next day oikiw made a PLAn. He wouldnt be afraid of fuzzy rejectino any mor. He was the Grand KIng and he would tell the ki3i exctly how he fely.  
He walkd up to the kwi obly to see that the kiwi had a confESION LETTER!!!!!!!!!!!1221! in its hands! Wings! Claws! whatevr kiwis hold things with is where the letter was is what i sm tryin t o say.  
“kiwi, who is that letter 4?’ oikaw asked with fear in his hert. if te kiwi loved someone else… oikw (k)needed sweet k(n)iwi lovin ad he didn’t know what he’d do. h e had beewachan’s frienship but he (k)needed the kiws. he couldnt bear to think of tfw no kiwi, he liv wit tfw 4 2 long. Oikawe would hav kwi he wus determind  
Kiwi paused. it wondred how to sa what it wanted to say so badly. fr years all it had dreame about was loving oikw. the volleyballin g yaoi mn inflmed its kwi heart. it wanted to know oikawa’s every layr.  
“the letter……...is……….for yOU”  
oikw GASPED IN SHCK “oh kiwi, really?” careless whisper started playign in the bground bc romance mood lmaooo

 

“i lov u kiwi-chan a little mor den hte volley balll”  
“but ther es a bazillion other ki iws out there” said th e kiwi “i am jst,, one of many…”

“no” oikaw looked d(b)eep into the kiws fuzzy (eyes??? faec?? idk) surfarce and caresed it gentle “u r my only kiwi. my oikiwi”  
“oh, oikwi,” the kiwi sighed dreamily how long had it dreams of oikawa’s yoai mn hands on its long and pointy beak  
“bee4 we go further, my lov, i have one question… i must know………...your naEM” proclaimed oikawa.  
“My name? I am……(pause for drama efft)………..BOKUTO KOUTAROU” said the kiwi ripping odd a very realistic kiwi costume (a/n plot twist loololololollol)  
SUPRISE FUCKERS OIBOKU IS CANON NOW  
“OH NO BOKUTO!!” oikwa gasped  
“U WERE JST WEARING KIWI FUR SUIT HOLE TIEM(wow what a fucking furry)?!?!?!!” (LIEK IF U CRY EVERYTIM)  
“It is true,” bokuto sigge. “I have loved u from first timei aw you on the court but I am na owl and you on;y love KIWIS so what could I do?>>>> I dropp ut of Fukutrodani and wear kiwi siut for years so you would notice me……..Oikaw, please. Our love is meant to bee…….dont say bokuNO to me…be(e) my...bok(iwi)ubro”  
Oikw thought. This was yaoi betrayal, but maeb(kn)ee it cou;d be saved. “Butko….. can i… borrow your fur siut?”  
“Anthing for you, Oikawa...hey hey hey…”  
Oikiwi took Bokto’s owl wing in his hand and kissd it!1!  
“Bokiwi.... thi s is the begin g of a beautiful love affair…”

 

 

\--------------love affair---------------(boy x boy, r-18, dnt liek dnt reed!11!!11)  
1 day bokut and oikwa were havin hte sexy tiems. things were gettin real stEAMY  
they were makin out and oikwa felt smthng hard, thing were escalating (rEAL QUICKLY)

“p-put on ur kiwi fur suit…… it turn me ON” oikwawa sed  
“k oikiwi bby” seed (like a kiwi seed but from the fruit not the bird whose suit bokuto was wearing) boku t.  
bok uro started somtin

bokut put on his kiwi suit, v sexily, his muscles looking v nice and shiny (bc the kiwi suit was hot just like bokuto tssss hot u fry an egg). oikawa looked deep into bokut’s eyes. v deep. deep like an ocean but deeper bc the love was 9001% strong(its over 9000 lolololol). bokuto’s eyes were not green like a kiwi (fruit) but they were sort of brown like the fluffy kiwi birdie so that was ok. he put his volleyball-playing hands on bokut’s face and said “boku(no pico)to. bokuto. u r my fave most special kiwi. please………,,,,, take me.” (take_me_to_church.mp3) (we should all go to church tbh)  
“Oh oikiwi,” bokuto whispered, so in love with his bby tooru kiwi. “youre so pretty, so long like a kiwi beak, thick with layers lyke a kiwi fruite (or shrek), and ur eyes are so brown, brown like a kiwi fruit.”  
oik(iwi)awa gasped. “bokuto. i lov e you loads. please do the do with me. frickle frack with me. koutaro. ilu. im read y.”  
bokuto was as hard as an unripe kiwi fruit. they’re pretty damn hard. and sour. please dont make smoothies with kiwi unless it is ripe. please. “ill do it tooru. oikiwi. r u ready.”  
“im ready,” oikiwi said. he was ready for bokuto’s pork sword. oikiwi tooru was as soft and sticky as a kiwi fruit (a RIPE one bc ripe ones are nice. yes.). he was READY. HE YELLS ‘BOK UT O PLS I NEED UR SCHLONG DONGADOODLE. PLS.’ because oikawa is polite and knows how to ask nicely.  
“OK OIKIWI,” bokuto exclaims and leans forward. mmmmm. the fur of bokut’s kiwi suit felt so nice against his skin. omf. so good. oikawa was feeling things he had never felt before ever. it made his neeples tingle. twas magic. nothing had ever made him feel like this. not even volleyball. bokut’s one-eyed wonder weasel was TOO GOOD. too gud.  
‘bokut b(ee) w me 6ever’  
‘ok oikiwi’  
‘promise?’  
‘ye’  
BOOM bokut did the thing that anna doesn’t want to talk about him doing in a kiwi suit and when he opene dhis eyes he gasped bc OIKIWI. OIKIWI was a kiwi. he was fluffy kiwi bird.  
‘ill take care of u 9001ever(its ovr 9000 lololol). even if u a tiny bird.’ bokuto whispered to oikiwi. oikiwi couldnt reply bc he is birb. small birb do not make a peep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> WHY ARE YOU WRITING NSFW BOKUOIKIWI I HATE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS WHY THE FUCK THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME WHY ARE YOU PROFANING MY BEAUTIFUL FIC IN THIS WAY THIS IS ILLEGAL WHAT THE FUCK HELP ME SAVE ME FROM MY DISTRESS YOU EVIL EVIL PEOPLE WHY WAS THIS NECESSARY THE ENDING WAS PERFECTLY GOOD AS IT IS I DON’T LIKE ANY OF YOU ANYMORE I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THIS ON MY GODDAMN AO3 AND READ IT THE FUCK OUT LOUD DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS GOING TO DO TO MY SPOTLESS REPUTATION I’M GOING TO CRY I’M A GOOD PERSON I DON’T DESERVE THIS THIS ISN’T ART THIS IS GODLESS MEME HELL WHY DID I EVEN WRITE THE OIKIWI WHY DID I PUT BOKUTO INTO THIS HELL HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE THERE HE SHOULD BE LIVING A HAPPY LIFE WITH HIS SETTER OR HIS DORK CAPTAIN FRIEND NOT WEARING A GODDAMNFUR SUIT IN NSFW THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO SOMETHING I WROTE WHY WOULD YOU TO THIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR MOTHER I WASTE MY TIME ON FUCKING OIKIWI AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE IT WORSE WHY IS THIS MY LIFE NOW I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHERE I WENT WRONG LOOK AT MY CHOICES LOOK AT THIS LOOK AT EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE I WILL WEEP IN DESPAIR I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE SAVE ME FROM BOKUTO/OIKAWA FURRY NSFW


End file.
